Why I probably wouldn't survive a zombie attack

The other night I had such a vivid dream about a zombie attack that it made me feel like it was inevitably going to happen. This got me thinking about the reasons why I don't think I would survive if it did happen (morbid? me?).

1.       White girl can’t jump. Even if I put all of my energy and effort into jumping, I still can’t manage to get more height than 3 or 4 inches. This has been an ongoing joke with Scott, he finds it hilarious but it also means that should I ever have to jump a fence/car/obstacle whilst being chased, the likelihood of me being successful would not be high (like my jumping).

2.       I can’t run fast. Pretty self-explanatory really. My ‘jogging’ speed is the same as the other half’s leisurely stroll. So I’m not going anywhere in a rush on foot. This won’t be a problem as long as the zombies are old style zombie movie where they just kind of meander around as opposed to the ‘running at full speed’ type zombies of modern day.

3.       I am clumsy. See this post. I fall over, a lot. I can just see me tripping over something at a crucial point of escaping and becoming a gonna.

4.    My car rarely has a full tank of petrol in it. I'm not one of those people who keep it topped up 'just in case' (though I doubt their 'just in case' is a zombie attack).... it's regularly (right no in fact) got the red light flashing to tell me it's almost empty. This means should we have to jump in the car to escape/save family members/whatever then we won't get far without having to fill up. Which could prove to be tricky what with zombies literally biting at your ankles.

5.   I'm lazy and don't go food shopping regularly. I don't like food shopping even though I love food. This means that like today our cupboards are pretty bare and so should we need to barricade ourselves in our house there wouldn't be much to keep us going aside from the odd tin of tuna and baked beans.

6.   We live pretty much smack bang in the middle of England. This means there is no sea around for us to sail away into. You never see zombies swimming really so I think that would be a good escape route. That or a helicopter. We don't have a helicopter either.

7.   We don't have easy access to guns here. I don't know one person who owns a gun. It would have to be a more of a 'Shaun of the dead' approach to zombie killing, throwing random household items until we find something that works. I also don't own an axe, a sledgehammer or a samurai sword.

So if this does happen, I think I'm pretty screwed.

Picture is from Zombieland

Diary of a ten year old part 3

Well these are special entries today because it is my baby little tall, but younger sister's birthday. I can't believe 15 years have gone by since she was born.There is a fairly big age gap between my sister and I; 11 years without any other siblings in between seems to raise a few eyebrows when I tell them. I have to explain that yes she is my full sister, my parents were still together at the time and it wasn't the case of my mum or dad having a child with a new partner which I think is usually the case with big age gaps. I was an only child for 11 years and it was a massive shock to everyone in the family when my mum found out she was pregnant.

I cried. Typical 'only child' behaviour thinking someone was going to come along and take all of my mummy and daddy's attention and I would be forced to live in the attic surviving only on rotten fish heads...... Or something like that. The truth was that I was scared, I had always noticed how much my parents LOVED babies and thought I would just be the boring older child that they wouldn't like as much. What an idiot. Anyway I didn't feel like that for long and I soon became VERY excited about the arrival of a baby sibling. I always wanted her to be a girl, not that I told my parents at the time because I thought it would have been mean to not want a brother. But deep down I almost knew I was going to have a sister.

I made my parents promise me that I would be the first person they told when the baby arrived, because I wanted to be the first to know if it was a boy or if my wishing had worked and it was a girl. This actually meant that when my dad was trying to get hold of me whilst I was shopping in Sainsbury's with my Mamma (that's grandma for most people) he had to lie to a family member who had picked the phone up and said the baby hadn't arrived yet haha.

Anyway he did get hold of me in the end (crazy to think that mobile phones weren't used as much back in the day and people actually used landlines) and down I went to the hospital to meet my new baby sister. My first memory of her is holding her and thinking "why is her head covered in lard?".... Obviously it wasn't lard, they hadn't greased her up to help with the delivery but it definitely looked like it.

I love how I refer to her as 'it'. 'It' will be born tonight haha.

I think the above spelling may be a contributing factor to why people tend to call them C-sections.

This is when she was 2 hours old.

Yes I am naturally a blondie.



Oh what a jolly good jubilee!

So as you may or may not know last weekend it was the Queen's Diamond Jubilee - that's 60 years she has been our Queen! Personally I'm not a big royal fanatic. Don't get me wrong, I watched the Royal wedding last year and watched bits and bobs of this years festivities but I don't go mad for it all. Between you and me, I'm not even the biggest fan of London.... I'm too much of a country bumpkin!One person I know who loves all things Royal is my Step mum. Although to me she is just known as Heather. It was her birthday this weekend just gone and I couldn't pass up on the opportunity to give her a Royal/British themed present so I put this basket together. We don't have lots of money to throw around at the minute but I still wanted to give something special. Some things I made and others I bought, but I was pretty proud with how it turned out and wanted to show off. (I play I play :P)

The obvious colour combo for a 'British' theme would be red, white and blue. I wrapped her gifts in some scrapbook paper that had come free with a craft magazine.

I decorated the basket with ribbon and made some bunting because what's more British than a bit of bunting eh? The 'Happy Birthday' street sign also came free with the same magazine as the papers.

I made this to attach to a brolly that I bought her because I liked the play on words and like to think I am funny.... Also it was quite relevant due to the typical British weather on the day. And how it is now, it's almost the middle of June and no sign of sunshine!

I found this corgi cross stitch pattern the night before her birthday but thought that I HAD to give it to her. This meant I stayed up until around 3am and got up early the next morning in order to complete it. I stuck magnets to the back of it so it could stick on her fridge.

And this is the commemorative plate that I bought her.

The other gifts included the items needed for a cream tea (i.e. scones, clotted cream and jam) and some tins shaped like a red phone box, bus and Big Ben containing tea. Like I said I was really chuffed with the end result and was even more chuffed when she rang me to tell me that she loved it all and was really grateful for the time and thought I had put into it. Just goes to show that you don't have to spend a lot to please people :)

Bubble Bobble!

I've recently been getting back into cross stitching. Whenever I say I cross stitch to friends they think it's hilarious, try as I might, I just don't seem to be able to convince them that not all cross stitching surrounds cats, forever friends, or little girls in bonnets having tea parties (I have nothing personal against any of these they just aren't my bag -baby-)
Instead I have been finding patterns for more 'me' things. Particularly gaming ones.

One of my ULTIMATE favourite games is Bubble Bobble.

Anyone who has ever played this with me knows that we aren't stopping until we reach the end, I will eat all of the big fruits/ice creams/fries that fall from the ceiling and I want to do all the bubble popping.
Not a lot of people like playing with me.

Anyway, as a tribute to this amazing game I have cross stitched Bub and Bob.

I know that the blue is a bit off for the colour he is meant to be, but I had to make do with the colours that I had in my possession and I'm really happy with how it turned out.
I found the pattern at www.spritestitch.com - this website is amazing for gaming based crafts!
I am planning on stitching a few of the other characters from the game and displaying them somewhere in a geeky corner of our house.